Jul 112012
 
83rd MLB All-Star Game

Thank you so much for that, Justin Verlander. You pitched more like Nuke LaLoosh (pre-garter belt) than the reigning MVP and CY Award winner…

As all learned baseball men (and women) know, if you don’t have your best fastball command, you should always just throw the damn thing harder.

Ugh. Not even C.J. Wilson have surrendered five earned runs, bro—don’t quote me on that.

Look, I know that Matt Harrison isn’t blameless, but after that first inning, the game was pretty much over.

In a world where everyone has multiple mediums with which to interact, couldn’t someone have gotten word out to put down the plastic sheets because Verlander was about to shit the bed?

Good things that happened during the 83rd MLB All-Star Game:

• Mike Napoli recorded a hit—hat tip to the setting sun.

American League Gets Verlandered, Drop Third Straight to National League All Stars
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• C.J. Wilson never entered the game.

• David Freese struck out in his only plate appearance.

• Nathan’s 1-2-3 second inning.

Yeah, that’s it.

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