Father’s Day Gifts

by Tepid Participation

Stupid golf crap. That’s what you’re trying to avoid. I mean for Father’s Day. Dad’s day is Sunday the 17^th and you don’t want to give or receive any more stupid golf crap. I am a condescending jerkface.  Always have been, but hopefully I won’t always be. Bear this in mind while perusing my little Father’s Day gift guide for the baseball fan/Rangers fan.

Let’s get stared.

-First of all, anyone attending baseball games knows you’re almost certain to need a few key functional elements of style. One of these elements is sunglasses. I would like to take this moment to explain something about sunglasses. Over the last decade or so, “sport” sunglasses have taken up a huge portion of market share. I’m talking about the kind of shades meant to be worn during sporting activity. These sunglasses are great, functional, and frankly, Willie Mays would have really loved them while fighting the San Fran glare.  They are, however, to be worn DURING SPORTING ACTIVITIES. The chances of Josh Hamilton asking to borrow your shades? None. So having said that, leave the Oakley’s at home and get a proper pair of leisure sunglasses. For the most part, they look great on all men.  I normally suggest the classics.  I don’t know you or your father but every man looks pretty cool in a proper fitting pair of aviators.

***warning*** you are unlikely to look “Newman Cool” in proper sunglasses. Do not let this discourage you from trying.

—Now let’s address my ultimate male-style pet peeve. Surprisingly, this conversation has permeated baseball talk, mostly due to the yeoman’s efforts of Kevin Goldstein and Jason Parks’ Up and In Podcast.  I’m talking about the proliferation of flip flops. Here it is: the pool, your house, the beach, your driveway, a gym shower, your backyard, Hawaii, any vacation. That is the entire list of where flip flops are appropriate footwear for a man.  Your feet aren’t good looking. Furthermore, you’d like to look like you’re in charge of something, right?  I don’t care what it is, be it a Fortune 500 company or simply your family, you don’t look like you’re in charge of a damn thing if you’re wearing flip flops. They are not “OK” at the ballpark.  If you go to a Ranger’s game and you’re steaming down I-30 on your way back to Big D at 10:45 with sticky kids and an exhausted wife, you’ll be 100% screwed if you blow a tire. YOU CAN’T STAND ON A TIRE IRON IN FREAKIN’ FLIP FLOPS!” Also, ballparks are concrete hangouts filled with beer and 45,000 sweaty people. They are not clean. Put on some shoes.  Here, try these:

http://shop.vans.com/catalog/Vans/en_US/style/$$1.html?categoryId=65121&colorCode=EYECHR

or these:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/seavees-baja/3233678?cm_cat=datafeed&cm_ite=seavees_%27baja%27_slip-on:501594&cm_pla=shoes:men:slip_on&cm_ven=Froogle&mr:referralID=NA&mr:trackingCode=3B520AAF-9083-E111-8435-001517B1882A

Oh, and this is very important! For the last bazillion or so years, men have been using this to keep odor and sweat away. Go to CVS and buy a can and sprinkle some in all of your shoes. Quit being ridiculous:

http://www.overstockdrugstore.com/products/Gold-Bond-Foot-Powder-Medicated-Max-Strength-4-Ounces.html

And I’ll punch you in the left kidney if you wear Crocs. They’re for kids. You have a mortgage, your shoes shouldn’t float.

—Ask a woman if they like the way you look in cargo shorts. Go ahead, ask ‘em. Any woman will tell you, it’s not a good thing to balloon out around your hips and thighs. Do you work in the Safari business? No?  Then why the hell do you need 12 pockets!? Go buy a proper fitting pair of long shorts with deep pockets to hold all the nonsense your kids hand you. I like to use the ones with buttons on the back pockets, so I know my wallet is safe.  Whatever you get, just do me a favor and light a fire to your sloppy, droopy, wrinkly cargo shorts and eliminate all Velcro from your wardrobe. (side note- Velcro is only appropriate on “hunting clothes” section of your closet.)

—Golf culture is pretty annoying to me, but a man at a ballgame in a golf (polo) shirt, isn’t. Weird, I know. Can’t explain it really. I just know that you’re a grown man and wearing a shirt with lots of logos all over it gives you a bit of a silly air. Antigua is the manufacturer of choice for MLB and they make those crazy light-weight, simple, solid color golf shirts that tell people, “Hey, look, I support these guys, but I’d choose my family, my wife, my friends, my spiritual beliefs and my work before any team I’m not actually on.” Remember, less is more:

http://shop.mlb.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4040086&cp=1452369.1452921.707858

http://shop.mlb.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11788057&cp=1452369.1452921.707858

-If you must wear a t-shirt, understand a couple of principles. 1. It is going to show your sweat more than a golf shirt. Be cognizant of this. And 2. The fewer the words, the better. You know what, better yet, no words. If you want to amaze your friends with your Rangers fandom try one of these obscure gems from Low-A Hickory:

http://crawdads.milbstore.com/store_contents.cfm?store_id=54&dept_id=1046&product_id=11101

or this from High-A Myrtle Beach:

 http://pelicans.milbstore.com/store_contents.cfm?store_id=102&dept_id=1513&product_id=10439

and finally, the good folks at No Mas make some fine T’s with words:

http://www.nomas-nyc.com/3-t-shirts

**on a less popular note, while I understand your desire to do it, I’ve always thought it a bit weird to have another man’s name on my back. I see it all the time and I know it’s a touchy subject, I’m just saying it’s weird to me. I don’t look up to any man, other than my own father, enough to wear his name on my back.  Get a golf shirt and call it a day.

-Finally, headwear. I’ll be frank. The six-panel, wool, properly structured ball cap is a perfect style piece. Always has been, always will be. Remember with hats, less is more. You need one logo. On the front. I am a staunch supporter of the New Era 59/50. It holds it’s shape, has classic lines and it has that ridiculously effective sweatband. Yeah, it’s kinda hot at first, but there’s a reason the ballplayers wear it. If, however, your 59/50 starts to look like John Wetteland’s, get rid of it. Sweat lines and dirty hats are for college kids. Again, if you’re looking for something creative here, rock a hat from one of your favorite teams’ minor league affiliates. MiLB hats can get a little carried away though, so use caution. Or, ask your wife if it looks good.  You should probably do that more often anyway.

I also own one of these DFW Spurs hats from the brilliant folks at Ebbets Field Flannels. The Spurs played in Turnpike Stadium before it became Arlington Stadium before it became the parking lot for The Ballpark in Arlington. You can get one here:

http://www.ebbets.com/product/DallasFtWorthSpursBallcap/Ballcaps

Ok, so those are my tips for you fellas out there. This was a lot more fun than that cocamamy idea I had about Martin Perez (which I still wholeheartedly believe in). Hopefully, this helps. If not, just keep wearing your Oakleys, cargo shorts, flip flops, and a t-shirt with some other dude’s name on the back. Regardless of your gameday attire, remember, enjoy being a father and/or having one. Seriously. People get old and die and bad shit happens sometimes, so enjoy and savor every ballpark related moment. Baseball has always been a generational link and that’s one of the reasons we love it.  Have a Happy Father’s Day.

Love Ya,

Tepid

    +=

Derek Holland was placed on the 15-day DL this morning with what the Rangers are calling “left shoulder fatigue”. Holland has been battling a vicious bout of bubble gut the last 2 1/2 weeks and has lost 15 pounds. The Rangers plan on allowing Holland the time to get back to 100% before having him pitch again.

In the meantime, the Rangers will allow Alexi Ogando to make the start on Sunday. During the first half of 2011 when he spent most of his time as a starter he was 9-3 with a 2.92 ERA. Soon after that he struggled with fatigue and was moved to a bullpen role where he remained to start this season.

Meanwhile, Roy Oswalt continues to build innings in Round Rock with the hopes of joining the big league club somewhere around June 20th.

In my personal experience, doing anything 20 times in 20 days is a tough task.

The Rangers finished a 20 games in 20 days stretch by going 10-10 with a loss to the Mariners. Doesn’t sound great for a team that started the season winning 17 of 23 games.

There is no doubt the Rangers are going through a streak of bad baseball. Allow me to be that guy that gives you some “glass half full” information.

• Other than the L.A. Dodgers, the Rangers have the largest lead in their division over the second place team which is 5 games over the Oakland A’s
• Even as we watch this offense flounder, the Rangers own the largest run differential in all of baseball at +79. The closest team is the St. Louis Cardinals at +65.
• The team that a large group of experts picked to win the AL West is sitting 7 games back with a fair amount of problems themselves.
• The Rangers offense, even after a very rough streak, is 1st in Runs scored, Batting average, and Slugging PCT.
• The Rangers bullpen has been DOMINANT.

What they were saying after yesterdays loss to the Mariners:

Feldman:

“Walking that many guys, I was kind of dodging bullets the whole day,” Feldman said. “Finally, they got me in the fifth. But it’s been like that the last couple times I’ve gotten the ball, just bad command. I’ve got to get back where I was at the end of camp — confident in all my pitches and throwing strikes.”

Wash on Feldman:

“He’s a sinker pitcher, and it was a situation where we just needed him to get the ball down,” manager Ron Washington said. “He ended up getting it up, and Liddi took advantage of it.”

“I don’t think you can put that on Scotty like that,” Washington said. “There are decisions to be made, and we’ll make those decisions.”

As I tweeted yesterday, I’m getting the feeling that the Roy Oswalt signing is near. The Rangers feel like with the potential loss of Feliz until after the all-star break they need to bolster the starting pitching depth. It makes total sense at the right price and could provide a great veteran presence in the young rotation.

No game tonight…and that sucks.

Superman has his Kryptonite, Achilles has his heel, Darvish has the Mariners???

In Yu’s first start of the year he faced the bottom feeders of the AL West and got ROUGHED up in a forgettable introduction to American baseball. After that start, Yu has rolled through baseball with a 1.94 ERA and was ready to redeem himself against those same Mariners. The first hitter of the game, a NASTY strikeout on three pitches. Oh yeah baby! this is going to be an awesome game to see! Next batter…four pitch walk. Oh dear. Unfortunately the rest of his start went more like the second batter than the first.

As if it wasn’t bad enough the Rangers were facing a motivated Felix Hernandez who had two un-Felix type starts leading up to this game. The Rangers offense (who still look a little lost) couldn’t muster any runs until the 8th inning when Mitch Moreland continued his hot hitting with a solo home run.

What they were saying after the game:

Darvish:

“I was apologetic because I wasn’t able to go deep in the game as a starter should,” Darvish said. “Overall the approach and the substance of the game … it wasn’t that good.”

“The early part of the game I was OK with my command,” Darvish said. “But somewhere in the middle when I really needed to throw a strike, I struggled to get a strike.”

On Ichiro

“He’s a good hitter,” Darvish said. “The first triple, the ball was down and he did a good job getting the bat on the ball. The second hit was a bad pitch, the ball was right down the middle.”

Ron Washington:

“I told him it’s part of the game,” said Washington, who was more concerned that Darvish understand why he was pulled from the game so early. “I told him we’re not out to try and kill him. That was a lot of pitches in a short period of time. We need him for the rest of the year, not just one night.”

on Felix

“We’ve seen that before, he’s capable of doing that,” Washington said. “Tonight was his night and not Darvish’s.”

Eric Wedge:

On Yu

“It had been awhile and the first time was different because it was his first time,” Mariners manager Eric Wedge said. “But obviously he’d been having a lot of success, and our guys did a great job against him tonight. Obviously, he has a good arm, keeps the ball down for the most part, but again, you’ve really got to tip your hat to our guys. Offensively, our guys went up there and made him come into the zone, and when he didn’t, we took the passes when we could.”

As if a loss wasn’t enough, The Rangers found out yesterday that first year starter Neftali Feliz will be placed on the 15 day DL

Scott Feldman will take his spot in the rotation but there has been discussion about signing former Astro Roy Oswalt who recently threw a bullpen session for several teams. More to come!

Ugh…

I was going to start this post off complaining about the over-managment of the lineup during this two game sweep by the Royals. I was going to point out how guys like Miguel Cabrera and Joey Votto haven’t had a day off yet this year and they are hitting over .300 and leading their teams while being 5 and 6 years older than Elvis Andrus. I was going to show how there is no statistical correlation between days off early in the season and better performance late in the season. I was even going to show how time off can actually disrupt a hot hitters timing thus taking him “out of the zone”

But alas…I won’t do any of that. I’ll just focus on what happened yesterday.

In all fairness the Rangers probably didn’t lose because Elvis Andrus and Nelson Cruz weren’t in the lineup. Colby Lewis imploded in the first inning for the second game in a row and didn’t really give his team a chance to win. After his last start when Colby gave up back to back to back home runs he actually got worse against the Royals. Thanks to his throwing error to first on a routine grounder back to the pitcher, Colby gave up four runs (all unearned).

The bright spot for me yesterday was the home run by Brandon Snyder. In a very small sample size, Snyder has shown me enough to be intrigued. The guy has sneaky power and plays with the enthusiasm of a player trying to break into regular playing time.

What they were saying after the game courtesy of ESPNDALLAS:

Colby on his performance

“They did a good job of hitting them where we weren’t,” Lewis said, apparently referring to hard-to-reach spots like the outfield walls.

Wash on Colby

“He hit a bad stretch and we’re going to fight through it,” Washington said after being pressed on the issue of Lewis being hit hard after the errors. “We’re not going to get concerned about anything. We’re going to do what we always do — go to work and try to correct things. It’s a long season.

“Next time he goes out there, you never know, it might be the beginning of him rattling off three or four (great starts). That’s the way we think.”

Ned Yost

“To come in here and win two games is big for us,” said Royals manager Ned Yost. “Our pitching has been pretty good. That shows you how good.”

We did play the Royals last night right?

In all fairness the Royals are a pretty decent, very young team loaded with minor league talent. In fact one might argue that the Royals look a lot like the Rangers did before their rise to an American League powerhouse. The Royals are 6 games below .500 but have had some nice wins against legit teams like the Yankees earlier this month.

As far as the Rangers are concerned, a let down was inevitable. In the middle of a tough stretch of games and coming off of a very emotional series with AL West rival Angels, the Rangers looked flat. The offense couldn’t muster more than a run off of BRUCE CHEN.

If there was a bright spot to last nights loss it was the mammoth home run by Nelson Cruz who appears to be busting out of a slump.

What they were saying after the game courtesy of Foxnews sports:

Ned Yost

Lets keep this simple today. 

Quick hits:

- Everything appears to still be on track for a CJ vs Yu matchup on Friday even with the rain delay. There is a good chance that Scott Feldman will make a spot start next week.

- Talks are ongoing with the Rangers and Josh Hamilton. Jon Daniels spoke about it to ESPNDALLAS

“There’s nothing new to say about the situation,” Rangers general manager Jon Daniels said Wednesday.

“We want Josh to remain a Ranger for a long time, and he’s expressed that the feeling is mutual. Beyond that, we are not going to discuss any potential negotiations, with Josh or other players.”

They call him Snyder…Brandon Snyder.

The Rangers flew into Baltimore coming off of their third consecutive series loss on Monday. Although the pitching hasn’t been as good as it was the first month of the season the real glaring weakness lately has been the lack of production from what is normally a potent offense. The gang was all together again on Monday night when the Rangers were able to insert Adrian Beltre and his injured hamstring back into the lineup as a DH against those first place Baltimore Orioles. Naturally with the offense back together with guys like Josh Hamilton, Nelson Cruz and Ian Kinsler the hero of the night was…Brandon Snyder?

In 2005 Brandon Snyder was drafted by these same Orioles and last night he decided to repay their faith in him by driving in a career high 6 RBIs including a smash 3 run home run to right center field which gave the Rangers the separation they needed. Love hearing some of the quotes after the game from BSnyd (made up nickname).

“I’m probably going to have to wake up tomorrow and read something to make sure it happened, It’s a special night, being back in Baltimore, but the biggest thing is having my family there.”

Ron Washington was pleased with Snyd Bomb’s (I’m trying different nicknames out here)  production last night.

“He got us a big two-out RBI hit. We certainly needed that,” Washington said. “Then he gave us a three-run bomb that gave us a cushion, and then he drove in another one. He gave us what we needed.”

JJ Hardy thinks that little 17 game inning yesterday may have had something to do with the Orioles performance. Excuses, excuses…

“No one here is going to make excuses, they’ve got a good lineup it’s no secret,” said shortstop J.J. Hardy, who had three of the Orioles’ six hits. “Were we tired? Possibly. Possibly. I mean, we played six hours and seven minutes yesterday than a flight back. I’m not saying that’s what happened is, we were tired, but maybe.”

Lost in all the Snyd Machine’s performance was the 1oth home run for Josh Hamilton in the 9th inning. I think its safe to say that Josh is trying to impress baseball this contract year.

Quick Hits:

- The Rangers will continue the tail end of this road trip tonight against the Orioles with Neftali Feliz taking on Plano East and TCU Alum Jake Arrieta.

- Only SRO and obstructed view seats available for Friday night’s uber-matchup of CJ Wilson and Yu Darvish. While we are all so excited for this matchup, lets not forget that the two teams closest to the Rangers in the standings are the A’s and Mariners. Just keep an eye out.

OH NO THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, yes the Rangers lost their 2nd consecutive series to a what seems to be a pretty good Blue Jays team. This continues a strange streak of the Rangers not winning a series in Canada since 2008.  I’m not going to sit here and make excuses for the rough patch because it happened primarily due to bad starting pitching.

The Rangers did however play without arguably their two best offensive players in Josh Hamilton and Adrian Beltre. If you think that the Rangers are feeling sorry for themselves or are questioning this teams ability, think again. Mike Napoli:

“They flat out beat us today,” the Rangers’ Mike Napoli said. “We’ll just move on to the next. We’ll forget about it. Our team is good at that.”

“We’re not worried about it, We still have a good ballclub. We’ve already forgot about this. We’ll enjoy the off day and move on to the next one.”

Ron Washington felt like Matt Harrison didn’t have full control over all his pitches:

“He just wasn’t able to get his secondary stuff across, Just couldn’t get his changeup working, which is his bread and butter. He didn’t have his sinker going, which is his bread and butter…. Next time he gets the ball I expect him to be better.”

Although it sucks for us Ranger fans, the Rangers have a much-needed off day today before taking on the Indians in a weekend series. Should be a good time for Beltre to rest his ailing hamstring and Hamilton his back. With this team back at full strength things should start looking up.

Quick hits:

Josh Hamilton won the AL player of the Month for April and Yu Darvish won the AL Rookie of the Month. Pretty awesome.

It appears that the Friday May 11th matchup will be Yu Darvish vs CJ Wilson after all. Neat.

Fans can vote for the 40th anniversary all Texas Rangers team here. There are some seriously tough decisions to make…

I had a chance to go see a Rangers’ game, live and in-person. As though there is a difference. Anyway, this was my first time at Rangers Ballpark since the rather unceremonious ending to last season.  What follows is a loose account of what I saw and everything falls into one of three categories; amused, concerned, or impressed. 

-Impressed- by the look of the park, post renovations.  It’s nice, ya’ll.  I have no idea if all of the people I saw sitting in the center field pavilion area had seats somewhere in the stadium, but they all looked to be damn comfortable “reclining” in the metal-framed patio style furniture out there. The food looked great, but since I tailgate like an M-Fer, I was too full to sample. Next time, though, smokehouse BBQ place, next time me and you is gonna get ‘quainted. 

-Concerned- by the fact that all of those folks were locked in to a HUGE television that was showing a broadcast of an event that they’d have been able to see live by walking about 30 feet to the left or right.  Either way people, left or right. The game is actually being played just on the other side of the TV. I promise. 

-Amused- by the new sports bar named after the liquor company named after the guy who used to take people’s booty. I spent about 4 minutes in there before I began looking for my boarding pass.  This thing is so generic, it could be in Terminal D. Not sure what they were going for, but if “homogenous” was the desired design aesthetic, huge success.  Avoid. 

-Impressed- ‘cause I feel like I saw a true (very soon) Ace.  I capitalized it on purpose. I think there’s about 8-10 of ‘em. I’m not alone in this estimate. People who know way more about baseball than myself have surmised a similar number.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t wearing a Rangers jersey. Working the whole zone, tremendous off-speed pitches, great sequencing, evident competitiveness.  Only a year older than his opposing pitcher tonight, but in my opinion, on a different level. 

-Concerned- by the crazy number of “Boomstick” hot dogs I saw.  I was under the impression that this was a bit of a marketing gag. A “look at this man-vs-food/stupid thing we created and sell for $26” style of marketing gag. If attention was the intention, it worked.  Lots of local and even some national media turned their focus to this monstrosity during the first homestand.  But it never occurred to me, or frankly (see what I did there?) anyone I know, that this many people would be ordering and attempting to eat the damn thing.  Holy shit this hot dog is ridiculous and you look pretty ridiculous holding, buying, and eating it.  Two regular jumbo dogs, add mustard for me please.  No carry case other than the ones at the end of my arms needed. 

-Impressed- by 80 grade arm strength in right field AND concerned by the fact that Tampa’s third base coach didn’t know it was out there…looming…lurking…waiting to do that thing it does.  Arm cannons are awesome. 

-Amused- by the growing and vocal faction of anti-wave fans.  A guy in our section literally stood up and instructed everyone NOT to do the wave ‘cause it was distracting to the players. While he had his back to the field, telling us how distracting the wave was, the Rangers turned a triple play. Not really, but he wouldn’t have seen it if they had and he probably would have been mega-pissed if he’d missed that!  (side note, he was wearing the only Cliff Lee t-shirt I saw all night) 

-Impressed- by the fight in the Rangers.  I don’t know why this surprises me, oh, wait yes I do, its called 1972-2009 Rangers Baseball. Seriously though, Fernando Rodney has guzzled from the fountain of youth and he is back to bringing some nasty filth to the bump, to, which the Rangers said, “piss off, get us out three more times and we’ll let you leave”. 

-Amused- by the in-game production and entertainment elements that have changed over the last few years. The place sounds great, the scoreboards are conveniently placed and easy to navigate, the ribbon boards are only mildly annoying, and all the gimmicks are fun.  I even like the “Texas Legends” race. I know the race is derivative, and it’s going on in every park now, but outside of a Nationals game who else has characters that can lay claim to being 100% tougher than you’ll ever be? 

-Concerned- by the fact that when Big #32 went out, the Rangers lack of a right handed, bench bat meant that David Murphy was going to come in and spend three at bats reminding everyone why lefty-lefty matchups favor the pitcher and they especially favor a really good pitcher. 

I watch a lot of Rangers baseball, so I didn’t really see a lot tonight  a Rangers’ fan doesn’t see on most nights.  I tweeted this week that these are the halcyon days for this organization and I truly mean that.  I don’t know if this team is going to reach the ultimate prize, but I know what good, daily baseball looks like and it looks like the 2012 Texas Rangers.  They lost tonight, to an Ace on what I feel is currently the second best team in the AL, but they show more in losses these days than you were likely to see in the wins of the past.  They have a freakishly good third baseman, they have a great #2 lefty starter, they are patient yet explosive, they run well, and field even better.  They play in a beautiful park filled with energetic, engaged fans decked out head-to-toe in team gear. The organization doesn’t always hit home runs.  They sell an obnoxious hot dog and built a huge sports bar that would be more at home in the cozy, friendly confines of Chicago O’Hare. But make no doubt about it, from the product on the field, to the products around the field, the group that has been steering this ship for a few years now is good.  Damn good.  This is good baseball. 

Thanks for reading and enjoy your baseball.

Your Friend,

Tepid Participation