Mar 152012

A Lighter Look at The Five Biggest Games of 2012Spring Training is really starting to heat up  the excitement of opening day is getting closer and closer. I wanted to use this opportunity to make some predictions for the five biggest games of the season.

Game 1 - Chicago White Sox at (YOUR) Texas Rangers April 6th, 2012

After “the games that shall not be named” the ballpark will be in a frenzy trying to forget what happened last year.  Colby Lewis will be itching to prove who has better facial hair vs John “I’m better than Diamond and Volquez combined” Danks.  Before the game while watching the intro video Nolan Ryan will get so fired up he will run over to the White Sox dugout, put new Chicago manager Robin Ventura in a headlock, and give him old man noogies. They will shake hands afterwards and the Rangers win 8-5. Colby will give up 5 solo home runs.

Game 2 Texas Rangers at Detroit Tigers April 20th, 2012

Just for fun we are going to call this game a matchup of Neftali Feliz and Justin Verlander. The buildup to this game will be incredible and the Rangers will be riding high on a 13 game winning streak to start the season. It will be a pitchers duel until the 7th inning when Mitch Moreland hits a line drive off of Prince Fielders stomach which turns into an inside the park home run as Prince lies on the ground giggling. As Moreland rounds first he will stare at Prince and say “First Base is mine homey” The city of Detroit loses again. Rangers 1-0

Game 3 Anaheim Angels at Texas Rangers May 11th, 2012

This will be the first meeting of the year for the Rangers and Angels and will be quite the spectacle. Jared Weaver will be opposing Derek Holland in a match up of complete opposite personalities. Jared Weaver will give up a 5th inning grand slam to Mike Napoli and as Nap rounds the bases he will high-five Mike Soscia for giving him the opportunity to play for a winner. Weaver will go into the dugout and intimidate the bat boy to make himself feel better. Dutch will throw a gem and after the game do stand-up outside of the stadium. Rangers win 5-2.

Game 4 Texas Rangers at New York Yankees August 13th 2012

The Rangers will throw Matt Harrison out against CC Sabathia in this pivotal August game. This will be one of the few times that Matt will crumble under the pressure of Yankee Stadium. He will give up 4 runs in the first inning when A-Rod hits another meaningless regular season home run in preparation for disappearing in the playoffs. The Rangers will make a furious comeback when someone tricks Josh Hamilton into believing this is the home run derby and he will hit 5 home runs in 4 at bats (do the math).  Rangers win 14-5

Game 5 Anaheim Angels at Texas Rangers September 30th

Last game against the Angels of the year. Incredible build up as Yu Darvish pitches against CJ Wilson with a trip to the playoffs on the line. This will be a pitchers duel through the first three innings as Yu blows away every hitter he sees. In the middle of the 4th innings CJ will realize that he is missing his fencing class and will walk off the mound mid inning. Yu will pitch all nine innings and get the win propelling the Rangers into the playoffs and toward their first World Series title ever.

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