Aug 152012
 
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Feldman Looks to Stop Rangers Skid, Melky Cabrera Suspended for 50 Games, Former Fausto Starts for ClevelandThere have been some interesting developments around the major leagues today. Some are Rangers-centric, others not. Join me as I take you Around the League in 15 Minutes (or faster if you’re a skimmer).

“Melk Man” more manly than most

• Everyone knows that on top of being delicious, a cold glass of milk provides many essential nutrients and vitamins. Milk is always a great call unless it’s a hot day and you’re Ron Burgundy.

• Evidently, San Francisco’s Melky Cabrera—aka the “Melk Man”—had provided a sample that was rich not only in vitamin D and calcium but also testosterone. Melky will be suspended by Major League Baseball for 50 games due to abnormally elevated—think Ryan Braun-like—levels of testosterone. With 45 games left in the season and the Giants battling with the Dodgers for first in the N.L. West, you’ve got to wonder if this latest news will sit well with fans of the G-Men.

• Kudos to Major League Baseball for not only being intolerant of all PEDs, but in becoming vehemently lactose intolerant as well.

Cleveland to start “Roberto Hernandez”

• Yes, that’s right, the Tribe is going “Ex Post Fausto.” Right-hander Roberto Hernandez, formerly known to the world as “Fausto Carmona,” has gotten the green light to start tonight. The former Fausto will take on Ervin Santana and the Los Angeles of Anaheim at 9:05 (CST).

• Here’s hoping that the new Roberto Hernandez pitches more like the original Roberto Hernandez rather than the recently-retired Fausto Carmona namesake who was occasionally good, but usually not.

“Not Your Typical Car Guy. Not Your Typical Car Dealership.”

• That’s the slogan for the Mazda dealership that former Rangers lefty (and current Angel) C.J. Wilson purchased recently. Located in Chicago, Wilson’s latest look into life after baseball is only news worthy to me because it is yet another solid reason for Wilson to not retire in Texas.

• And as for the slogan, I’m sure we can all agree that Wilson is definitely not your “typical” kind of guy. As for his dealership, well, I’m sure it will be successful as there is no postseason in the world of car sales.

Yu Darvish is looking to harness his old NPB approach

• Based on Darvish’s unbelievable success in the Japanese professional league, why did his approach ever change? This slightly irks me. Sure I know it’s a far more advanced game in the U.S. and there is no comparison in the talent-level of the hitters, but he’s got plus-everything stuff-wise, so why not attack just as you did in the NPB?

• Also, if Darvish is truly struggling to find his old self, how about straight-up emulating Hiroki Kuroda in the mean time? Kuroda, whose stuff isn’t anywhere near Darvish’s, shutdown the league’s most potent offense and relinquished just two hits last night as the Yankees defeated the Rangers 3-0 in New York…Kuroda’s secret? Getting ahead of hitters and using off-speed out of the zone in pitcher’s counts. If Darvish could somehow pull this off, he’d be nearly unhittable.

Up Next:

Rangers right-hander Scott Feldman (6-7, 4.64 ERA) gets the nod for Texas and will oppose right-hander Freddy Garcia (6-5, 4.85 ERA). Garcia, the all-time winningest Venezuelan-born pitcher, has been doing his thing since Fausto Carmona was probably originally going by “Roberto Hernandez.”

First pitch is scheduled for 6:05 PM (CST)…Go Rangers!

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