Oct 302012
 
YoshiFeldy copy

Thanks to the San Francisco Giants making quick work of the Detroit Tigers in the World Series, we can all plop our buns down onto the MLB Hot Stove that much faster.

Sadly, since Major League Baseball free agents have a five-day window until they truly set sail for financially greener pastures, there is painful little news on the free agency front.

Thus, here are some notes on some quasi-newsworthy Texas Rangers stuff:

Rangers Ballpark in Arlington to Undergo Changes

So, there is going to be an opening added behind home plate. I suppose this is to subdue the infamous “jet stream” that supposedly prevents the Rangers from signing premiere starting pitchers.

Isn’t the jet stream effectively neutralized by the fact that the Rangers get to pitch against the Houston Astros more than ever next season?

And isn’t the eradication of said jet stream also a bad thing for Rangers’ hitters?

The Rangers also announced that foul territory will be minimized to make room for more “premium” seating. Okay, sure, this one makes sense on a monetary level at least.

However, fans beware: David Murphy and Nelson Cruz might be flying into the stands with greater regularity than a Josh Hamilton bat. Dodging a bat is one thing, but skirting a Boomstick is an entirely different matter…

It could get ugly.

Texas Rangers Offseason News: Feldman Flees; Sayonora Tateyama

Less foul territory could result in Boomstick “Cruzing” into your Boomstick.

All told,  I guess a little change is good. And, hey, if making RBIA less hitter-friendly is what it takes to get Zack Greinke in the house, then I’m all for it.

Rangers Decline Option on Yoshinori “Human Jet Stream” Tateyama; and Scooter McPooter

Goodness, what with the aforementioned solutions to the jet stream problem and the Rangers subsequent dismissal of Yoshi Tateyama, have we seen the last of the long ball at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington?

Now that Scott Feldman will fly the coup, let the debate begin: “Who will be the Rangers sixth starter heading into Spring Training 2013?” Goosebumps. I got ‘em.

On a side note, I knew buying 100 tee shirts with “Hottie Tate…yama that is!” might not have been the best business investment.

No biggie, I’ve still got my “Roy Oswalt MVP” shirts to fall back on…

Will the Rangers Go After the Young Japanese HS Phenom?

Japanese High School right-hander, Shohei Otani, made it public that he intends to enter the Major League Baseball Draft rather than play baseball professionally in Japan.

The Texas Rangers have been rumored to be very interested in drafting the pitching prospect, whose fastball has been registered as fast as 200 Nautical Miles an Hour, or something like that.

Numerous quotes from inside sources have also linked the Rangers to Otani, but since I don’t speak Japanese, I have no freaking idea what was said.

In all seriousness, I think the Rangers stand a very solid chance of landing Otani. After all, what Japanese teenager wouldn’t want the opportunity to play alongside Yu Darvish?

@TMurrayHowell

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Jul 312012
 
soto copy

UPDATE Soto will now be joined with former battery mate, Ryan Dempster. Dempster, snatched away from the Yankees by Rangers GM Jon Daniels moments before the deadline’s time limit, has a 1.55 ERA with Soto catching. The Rangers traded away two Single-A prospects—INF Christian Villanueva and RHP Kyle Hendricks. As long as you kept your receipt on your Geovany Soto jersey, you should be able to get your money back.

Geovany Soto: A Rangers Trade that truly Baffles, Unless...UPDATE: Dempster in the Hizzy

“Your beard is no match for mine, Mark Harmon…even when I’m clean shaven. Besides? Can you hit big league pitching 19% of the time?! I thought not!!!”

So, the Texas Rangers have acquired catcher Geovany Soto and an unspecified amount of cash from the Chicago Cubs for pitching prospect Jacob Brigham.

Since Yorvit Torrealba has been designated for assignment, it is presumed that Soto will function as the backup catcher.

The unspecified cash will most likely be used immediately to get really, really drunk. Because that’s what you do after getting shellacked 15-8 by the Angels.

I suppose it’s time we get to know the man named Soto.

Yorvit Torrealba vs. Geovany Soto

• Wow. Yeah, if UFC had fighters of this caliber, they’d have folded years ago.

• Soto has more pop. Torrealba has more slap. This isn’t Soto’s fault. When you spend this much time manicuring your beard, you don’t want to get punched in the crumb catcher.

• Soto, while flailing about aimlessly in the batter’s box, is more likely to doink one out. Torrealba will kick an umpire’s ass.

• Seriously, have you ever seen a player talk smack to the umpire after a swinging strike call?

Potential Derisive Nicknames and/or drunken proclamations to scream or chant (at your own risk)

Geovany Soto: A Rangers Trade that truly Baffles, Unless...UPDATE: Dempster in the Hizzy

“Hello Ranger Nation, I’m television’s ‘Geovany Soto.’ And I’d like to show you how big boys groom themselves.”


• Yes, Yorvit’s peculiar first name and its rhyming qualities will be missed. Pronounced “Yore-veet,”
“Tore-E-Habla” every time he did something dumb—like get himself crossed up on a fastball he called for—the keen drunken fan could easily proclaim:
“Yep! More sheet from Horri-ablah!” However, you must be careful, as Yorvit will climb into the stands Ty Cobb-style and kick your ass. He’ll also drink your beer, and eat your nachos while staring awkwardly at your significant other. He could pull this off because nobody on the field even noticed he was gone.

• Aside from the basic “Hey Geovany, where’s the rest of the boy band?” There is very little in his actual name that lends itself well to drunken exclamations, but I’m going to try anyways.

Geovany So-So

• Tidily sums up his career as well as capturing (rather optimistically) the level of excitement his arrival brings to Arlington.

Geovany So-terrific!

• Should Soto go completely nuts a la Napoli last season—yeah right—there will be no shortage of tee shirts with this moniker.

Geovany So—god **** awful, is tha* th* best yo* got *or us Jon eff*** Daniel*—Terrible

• Only rolls off the tongue well after beer number 18.

Top-notch facial hair

Geovany Soto: A Rangers Trade that truly Baffles, Unless...UPDATE: Dempster in the Hizzy

Oh c’mon, we all used to have this poster.

• Soto’s pristine fur-camouflage is clearly 80-grade. Normally, a beard of this quality comes with an angelic singing voice, skinny pants, and at least four other pre-pubescent 30-year-old dudes that provide background dancing, during performances at the Golden Triangle Mall.

• Okay, that’s a little mean-spirited on my part. I should never make fun of the Golden Triangle Mall.

• I do foresee a potential relationship between Soto’s beard and Koji’s sideburns. Really, that’d be quite beautiful. The unruly ‘burns from the wrong side of the tracks; Japanese-tough, no doubt. Soto’s chin strap and mini-stache, making eyes at that fluffy goodness from the get go…

Geovany Soto: A Rangers Trade that truly Baffles, Unless...UPDATE: Dempster in the Hizzy

Those bad boys mean business.


It’s a baffling trade, unless…

• Yeah, all kidding aside, I’m truly baffled why we move one subpar backup catcher for another. Sure, Soto is four years younger, but a .195 batting average is exactly that. Unless…

Maybe, just maybe, the Soto move is a precursor to bringing in Matt Garza or Ryan Dempster. And if that was the case, it makes a lot more sense.

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Jun 092012
 
Screen shot 2012-06-09 at 3.14.32 PM

Scott Feldman Seeks first Win, Looks to Keep Giants at BayIt took eleven tries for the Texas Rangers to finally win a game in the home of the San Francisco Giants. Today, Scott Feldman will be looking to get his first win of 2012 in his second career start at AT&T Park.

Hey, it could happen.

They say the first win is always the most difficult…they’ve managed to ex-the-hex, so maybe Feldman’s will be next?

A win this afternoon and the Rangers could secure the San Fran series—something they haven’t done since they swept Toronto nearly two weeks ago.

Here’s a look at the game two matchup between the Texas Rangers (34-25) and the San Francisco Giants (33-26).

RH Scott Feldman (0-4, 7.02 ERA, 1.64 WHIP, 4.0 K/9) vs. RH Ryan Vogelsong (4-2, 2.38 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, 6.5 K/9)

Feldman

Feldman’s last game, against the Oakland Athletics was fantastic—until the second inning rolled along.

Yes, there truly is nothing like an 8-run second to put a damper on a 1-2-3 first eh? It happens. Well, it has happened to both Derek Holland and Scott Feldman this year. Here’s hoping it won’t ever happen again.

In Feldman’s career at AT&T Park, he is 0-2 with a 7.04 ERA which is alarmingly consistent with the numbers he has put up this year so far overall. The Giants are batting .286 against the tall right-hander.

Scooter schools:

Gregor Blanco and Ryan Theriot have yet to record a base hit against Feldman in four plate appearances.

Kicks Scooter’s pooter:

Melky Cabrera. The “Melk Man” owns a .333 batting average against him.

Vogelsong

One of the best stories of last year’s season was the emergence of Ryan Vogelsong as a quality right-handed starter—at the not-so-tender age of 33 after battling various arm injuries throughout his career.

The former fifth-round draft pick (1998) put it all together last year, earning an All-Star berth, finishing up at 13-7 with a 2.71 ERA.

Vogelsong is largely a mystery to the Texas Rangers, as he has faced just three everyday players—Adrian Beltre, Yorvit Torrealba, and Michael Young.

Loves to face:

Adrian Beltre. Beltre is hitting just .167 against Vogelsong over his career.

Sees him well:

Yorvit Torrealba. Torrealba hasn’t been in the box against Vogelsong that much (6 PAs). But what he has seen he’s liked. Yorvit has scorched him to the tune of a .667 BA.

Rangers keys to victory:

Nobody expects Scott Feldman to pull a “Matt Harrison” and dominate the Giants for nine innings. However, it would be nice if Feldman could go at least five innings and surrender less than four runs.

If Feldman can manage that, and the Rangers’ rested bullpen—hat tip to Harri—are effective, the Rangers should be able to manage a second-straight win…if last night’s offensive production wasn’t just an illusion.

Prediction time:

I think the Rangers can manage enough offense to beat Vogelsong today. After that, it’s all up to Mr. Feldman. If he surrenders more than five earned runs, the Rangers might not have enough to battle back into the game. I think Feldman will have his best start of the season, and the Rangers will win 6-4.

Go Rangers!

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